I need a new pair of shoes August 21, 2009

Hey world! It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I’ve had lots of things on my mind lately and I thought I’d share one of them. Once again, I want to pull a quote from Iyanla Vanzant’s Acts of Faith:

When we convince ourselves that we can’t find the right mate, we try to make the one we have into the one we want….When we are not honest with ourselves about who are mate really is, we end up disillusioned and disappointed. It is not their fault, it is our own. We must be clear about what we want from a relationship whether it is social, business or intimate. Then we must make a decision to wait for exactly what we want. If who we have is not who we want, say so! It is not our job to change the other person. If we buys a pair of shoes and they do not fit, should we wear them and suffer or take them back to the store?

Ladies, do we ever say, “well if he just did this, we’d be ok” or “maybe if I can convince him to be like this, things would be better”? Where do we get the idea that we can change someone? We have a lot of talents but we don’t have super powers! I’m learning that if someone or something doesn’t mesh with your values or ideals, then it’s ok to acknowledge that and move on.

It’s time we wait for what God has planned for us rather than trying to take a unhealthy situation and turn it into what we think is best for us. In our “meantime” we should develop our interests and our spirituality and just be.

Now on to just being….

What a tragic loss. Michael, we’ll miss you! June 27, 2009

All day I have been watching Michael Jackson YouTube videos, listening to his playlists on Napster, watching CNN, listening to marathon’s on the radio and looking at friend’s comments on Facebook. But no matter how much joy I get from recalling all his hits and all the memories he created for me growing up, I am still shocked and saddened by his death.It’s amazing how one person, an entertainer, could be so influential on a single life and the whole world.

Many of my fondest childhood memories revolve around Michael and his music. I remember being scared to death of Thriller! I couldn’t watch it for years. lol. I remember gathering around the tv with family watching his videos and trying to imitate his dance moves. I also remember when MJ performed, I think it was the Motown 25 special, and I was going nuts. I was hysterical. My mom was like, “Girl, what’s wrong with you? Are you crying?” Ha. I’ll always remember that moment. I remember listening to the “Bad” album over and over and over with my childhood friend NaTasha. We put on our own little concert in her bedroom. Later in life I got to perform a routine to “Blood on the Dancefloor” with my dance company in college. I’ll always be inspired by his creativity, his magic, and his artistry as a singer and phenomenal dancer.

As speculations start to arise about the circumstances surrounding his death, I think about the irony of the whole situation. It’s amazing how perhaps one of the most well-known human beings on the planet, who achieved success yet to be surpassed, could live such a tortured life. I’m saddened when I imagine the loneliness, the isolation, the pain and the ridicule he faced. This man was under a huge microscope. He was hated probably as much as he was loved.

I’m not going to use this post to speculate on whether he did some of the things he was accused of. Only God can judge him now. But I’m sure that whatever happened in his life was a direct result of being a child star and the son of a relentless stage father. This saddens me also.

The music industry wouldn’t be what it is today without. If you look at Usher, Chris Brown, NeYo, and Justin Timberlake, they are all biting his style. But there will never be another like him. Michael, we’ll miss you!

While I have so many favorites, this is perhaps one of my top five MJ videos: click here. I think it paints a perfect picture of his magnitude. Enjoy and good night!

“Tough Love” ain’t easy March 27, 2009

So I’ve been watching a new reality show, Tough Love, on VH1 and surprisingly it’s very entertaining. Basically, there are 8  women that are looking for love but have yet to find a man. Their issues run the gamut, from the desperate to the insecure, to the icy.  The host, a professional matchmaker, takes these women through a Tough Love “bootcamp” in hopes of better preparing these women to ditch their bad, self-sabotoging love habits and become smarter daters.

On the episode I’m watching now, the ladies were paired up with these personal trainers under the guise that not only should they be emotionally and spiritually fit, but physically fit as well. Turns out these trainers are actually there to test the women of their communications skills and how they do on the first impression.

Here’s how of few of ‘em did: view clip here.

This is really crazy. Instead of talking, Jody (the quintessential Careeris) seems like she’s applying for a job. Big no-no. Unless you’re networking, a guy is generally not interested in hearing your resume, I would assume. I’m no dating pro, but I know you never tell a man “I’ve been hurt before” on the first meeting! Arian (the girl you’d like to sleep with but wouldn’t dare bring home to mom): try again. Like the host said, “Rule #75: Shut your yap!” But for some reason, she seems like she’s acting a lot on this show. Of course, that would never happen on a reality show though (sacarsm). And Stasha, the former Playboy bunny, is just plain scary. Nuff said. Oh, did I mention she was a Playboy model. lol.

Later in the show, Abiola (aka Miss Picky who is absolutely adorable) gets to go on a solo date with a nice chocolate drop. They seem to really be feeling each other. She really reminds me of myself. Not  because she’s black but she portrayed as the type that has a mile-long wish list for the guy of her dreams.  No really, she actually has a hand-written list! That’s definitely me. Check out this clip.

While this is a tv show and for entertainment, women actually do some of these things in real life. I know because I’m one of em! But I’d like to think that I get better with time. Good night!

A moment in history January 22, 2009

I am still in awe of what I witnessed yesterday. I’m normally not a person that cries easily but the tears were flowing as President Obama took his oath. I couldn’t help but think about the implications of the event. After years and years of slavery, then Jim Crow, then covert discrimination, yesterday was truly a milestone not only for African Americans but for all Americans, especially those of color.

During the inauguration, I thought about my mother who was one of the first African Americans in my small hometown in central Texas to integrate into an all-white school. I thought about the stories I heard about how she received bomb threats because there were some people who were against the integration. I recalled stories about how she would have to use the bathroom in the back of the restaurants on roadtrips and how she couldn’t have even dreamed of eating in the main dining area. I also thought about my grandparents from Alabama who lived in the heart of racism which later became the birthplace of the Civil Rights Movement.

And then I thought of myself. I thought about how I can accomplish whatever I choose. With God on my side, the possibilities are endless. And I always admire the Obamas as a family. They give me hope in believing that I can share my life with a man that is admirable, strong, intelligent, and influential and together we can have beautiful children.

While I believe that Barack is the most qualified to lead this country in spite of his race, I can’t help but rejoice because he’s the first African American president. For a Black man to now be leading a country that once enslaved us is mind-boggling. But it’s a true testament to the strides that America has made. We still have a long way to go, however. But at least we have the hope and the changed needed to propel us into the future.

I am a Phoenix…enuf! We get it! January 19, 2009

Ok. I’m getting sorta sick of seeing all the “I am a Phoenix” ads from the U of Phoenix. I don’t know why I’m getting so annoyed because I do marketing/advertising for a living. But I think there might be such a thing as overkill. Over the past few weeks, I’ve definitely gotten more than three impressions. Sheesh.

I’m probably just mad because our president saw our movie theatre ad from our new campaign (“What’s a Thunderduck?” for Richland College) back-to-back with their ad (which we came up with before the U of Phoenix campaign rolled out, btw). Now he hate’s it! We have to start from scratch now. (banging head up against the wall now) When will ever be able to convince 50-year-old white men that they are not our demographic? Note to all middle-aged administrators: If you don’t like our ads, then they are probably working!

I was also sorta ticked because the U of Phoenix has a $220 million budget! We did our campaign on say…. nada! Besides the U of Phoenix is marketing to a totally different demo, working adults. While we market to working adults also, we have other markets to consider, too, like recent high school grads, seniors, high school jrs and seniors…you get the point.

Ok, enough ranting. I shouldn’t even be thinking about work. It’s a holiday!

Life is about choices January 13, 2009

I was just thinking that sometimes in life we have to make tough decisions. Sometimes those decisions may initially hurt another individual, but we have to be mindful of our own well being. Just recently I had to make a decision that I’m sure crushed another individual. It crushed me, too. I had to do some deep soul searching and I discovered that I have to make me happy; I have to do what’s in my best interest and what’s conducive for me long term. If I’m not happy, how can bring joy to others? Sometimes I guess at times we have to experience short-term pain for long-term gain. But waiting during the painful part is the hard thing to do. I just pray that I will continue on the path that God has chosen for me and if so, everything will turn out fine.

(non) Cooking tips from a single gal December 19, 2008

It’s been awhile but I’m baaack! With the economy in its current state, I’ve had to be real creative in thinking of ways to cut costs. I tend to eat out a lot, so I’ve been trying to eat in more to save money and pounds! Here are some tips:

Buy a rotisserie chicken. There’s no way I can eat a whole chicken but I buy them, eat some for dinner one night, and use the leftovers to make other dishes. Here are a few ideas:

• Make chicken salad. Shred the chicken, add Miracle Whip, apples, walnut or pecans, onions or whatever tastes good to you. Spread it over bread for a sandwich or top over a bed of lettuce.
• Make enchiladas. Tonight I make what I call an “Easy Enchilada Bake.” I took tortilla chips and spread them over the bottom of a casserole dish. I combined the shredded chicken with Old El Paso enchilada sauce and spread it over the chips and topped it off with cheese. I baked until hot and until the cheese melted.
• Make a green salad. Top salad greens with the shredded roasted chicken and your favorite salad toppings like cranberries, cheese, nuts, wonton strips, mandarin oranges, or whatever you like!

The possibilities are endless. Please comment with your ideas.

Wedding bells August 10, 2008

Not my own, however…I went to a wedding today. I went there with every intention of just going thru the motions and drudging my way thru yet another ceremony. I was also waiting for the barage of questions: “When are you getting married?” or “Are you going to be next?” I only heard it about 3 times, which was a lot less than I expected. But I couldn’t help but just be awed by the wedding; it was just beautiful. The love that the young couple share just seemed to be God-given. Everything was gorgeous from her gown, to the flowers, to the candles, their family, and more. The minister, my former minister, performed a great ceremony. No fluff, and that’s how I think it should be. So, I said all that to say that love was in the air and I definitely caught wind of it. My hope and faith in love and marriage was definitely restored today. With God on my side, I know that He’ll bless me with the right one soon. I’m just going to be prayerful and patient. I’m also going to pray that I’ll be the right one for someone else when the time comes. Good night

Only for a season August 3, 2008

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how sometimes people come into your life your only a short time, a season. Then suddenly they are gone. It reminds me of what I’ve read in Iyanla Vanzant’s book “Acts of Faith.”

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. Next!

Back from my cruise July 29, 2008

Well, I made it back from the cruise. We had a great time despite hurricane dolly. I was a little sea sick but not for long. Check me out. Here are my top ten do’s and don’ts for going on a cruise.

10. Do eat as much as you want. It’s not everyday that you’re on vacation, right? The cruise ship had an endless supply of food, from sun up to sun down. Pretty good, too.

9. Don’t forget your cute little black dress or cocktail dress. Each night you’re invited to a formal dinner and won’t be allowed in with shorts or casual clothes.

8. Do flirt with your waiters and bartenders.

7. Do decide how much you want to spend before you go. After tipping, drinks, souvenirs, excursions, etc., the bill can really add up.

6. Don’t order a lot of sodas or alcoholic drinks if you want to save money. I paid over $2 for a can of Sprite!

5. Do go on an excursion. They are fun and culturally enriching.

4. Don’t pay for a shopping excursion. There are plenty of shops located right outside of the ports.

3. Do get your passport ahead of time. It will definitely expedite the process of embarking and debarking.

2. Don’t buy something at a port without first making a bargain with the vendor. You can get some really good deals.

1. Do have lots of fun!