What a tragic loss. Michael, we’ll miss you! June 27, 2009

All day I have been watching Michael Jackson YouTube videos, listening to his playlists on Napster, watching CNN, listening to marathon’s on the radio and looking at friend’s comments on Facebook. But no matter how much joy I get from recalling all his hits and all the memories he created for me growing up, I am still shocked and saddened by his death.It’s amazing how one person, an entertainer, could be so influential on a single life and the whole world.

Many of my fondest childhood memories revolve around Michael and his music. I remember being scared to death of Thriller! I couldn’t watch it for years. lol. I remember gathering around the tv with family watching his videos and trying to imitate his dance moves. I also remember when MJ performed, I think it was the Motown 25 special, and I was going nuts. I was hysterical. My mom was like, “Girl, what’s wrong with you? Are you crying?” Ha. I’ll always remember that moment. I remember listening to the “Bad” album over and over and over with my childhood friend NaTasha. We put on our own little concert in her bedroom. Later in life I got to perform a routine to “Blood on the Dancefloor” with my dance company in college. I’ll always be inspired by his creativity, his magic, and his artistry as a singer and phenomenal dancer.

As speculations start to arise about the circumstances surrounding his death, I think about the irony of the whole situation. It’s amazing how perhaps one of the most well-known human beings on the planet, who achieved success yet to be surpassed, could live such a tortured life. I’m saddened when I imagine the loneliness, the isolation, the pain and the ridicule he faced. This man was under a huge microscope. He was hated probably as much as he was loved.

I’m not going to use this post to speculate on whether he did some of the things he was accused of. Only God can judge him now. But I’m sure that whatever happened in his life was a direct result of being a child star and the son of a relentless stage father. This saddens me also.

The music industry wouldn’t be what it is today without. If you look at Usher, Chris Brown, NeYo, and Justin Timberlake, they are all biting his style. But there will never be another like him. Michael, we’ll miss you!

While I have so many favorites, this is perhaps one of my top five MJ videos: click here. I think it paints a perfect picture of his magnitude. Enjoy and good night!

A moment in history January 22, 2009

I am still in awe of what I witnessed yesterday. I’m normally not a person that cries easily but the tears were flowing as President Obama took his oath. I couldn’t help but think about the implications of the event. After years and years of slavery, then Jim Crow, then covert discrimination, yesterday was truly a milestone not only for African Americans but for all Americans, especially those of color.

During the inauguration, I thought about my mother who was one of the first African Americans in my small hometown in central Texas to integrate into an all-white school. I thought about the stories I heard about how she received bomb threats because there were some people who were against the integration. I recalled stories about how she would have to use the bathroom in the back of the restaurants on roadtrips and how she couldn’t have even dreamed of eating in the main dining area. I also thought about my grandparents from Alabama who lived in the heart of racism which later became the birthplace of the Civil Rights Movement.

And then I thought of myself. I thought about how I can accomplish whatever I choose. With God on my side, the possibilities are endless. And I always admire the Obamas as a family. They give me hope in believing that I can share my life with a man that is admirable, strong, intelligent, and influential and together we can have beautiful children.

While I believe that Barack is the most qualified to lead this country in spite of his race, I can’t help but rejoice because he’s the first African American president. For a Black man to now be leading a country that once enslaved us is mind-boggling. But it’s a true testament to the strides that America has made. We still have a long way to go, however. But at least we have the hope and the changed needed to propel us into the future.

Life is about choices January 13, 2009

I was just thinking that sometimes in life we have to make tough decisions. Sometimes those decisions may initially hurt another individual, but we have to be mindful of our own well being. Just recently I had to make a decision that I’m sure crushed another individual. It crushed me, too. I had to do some deep soul searching and I discovered that I have to make me happy; I have to do what’s in my best interest and what’s conducive for me long term. If I’m not happy, how can bring joy to others? Sometimes I guess at times we have to experience short-term pain for long-term gain. But waiting during the painful part is the hard thing to do. I just pray that I will continue on the path that God has chosen for me and if so, everything will turn out fine.

Only for a season August 3, 2008

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how sometimes people come into your life your only a short time, a season. Then suddenly they are gone. It reminds me of what I’ve read in Iyanla Vanzant’s book “Acts of Faith.”

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. Next!

Blog name change July 19, 2008

I just changed the name of my blog. “Emotional Idiot” is so, well, negative. Even though sometimes I am an emotional idiot, that’s not the case all of the time. I believe that we have to speak positive things into our lives. Negative self-talk is a definite way to sabotage your life. So, hence the new blog name.

Here’s another quote from Iyanla Vanzant:

So you think you are not good enough, not “God” enough. You’ve been doing everything you should, the way you should, and still the changes, if any, are slow coming, almost insignificant. You keep wondering what more can you do, how much more should you know, to get yourself, your life, to the point of peace and plenty you desire. You’re asking when will it get better? When will you be better? Maybe, just maybe, things are the way they need to be. That doesn’t mean things will not get better. It means they take time. . . .”

Lessons from “Sex and the City” July 9, 2008

So I went to go see “Sex in the City” tonight . . .by myself. I’ve gone to the movies by myself before but never at night. It was scary and once I got the parking lot, I almost turned around to go home. But I really wanted to see the movie and I decided to go for it. I’m glad I did. It was a great to see one of my small screen favorites on the big screen. I’ve always liked the show because I related in ways to the characters in some ways, though not totally.

Here are my top five lessons learned from the movie:

5. I’m not the only one who’s ever had a “Big” in their life

4. In some situations we need to love ourselves more than others

3. It’s ok to forgive

2. Sometimes when you stop trying, that’s often when you get the thing you want.

1. Love often defies logic

Corny, I know. But fun. The movie was a great first step in dating myself. Next step: dinner alone. That’ll never happen! Nite!

Letting go July 6, 2008

It’s hard to let go of something or someone that you love and cherish. But sometimes it’s the best thing for you. I read once that not everyone is meant to have a front row seat in your life. That’s so true. But that doesn’t make it any easier to let go of those “unhealthy” people or situations that aren’t good for you. When I go thru these things, I just have to remind myself that I’m “in the meantime” and letting go won’t always hurt so bad in the future. I just pray that God will present me with new opportunities for better relationships and better situations. Waiting is the hard part though.

Taking responsibility for our lives July 2, 2008

So, I cut my hair yesterday. I had one of those Angela Bassett in “Waiting to Exhale” or Gabrielle Union in “Breaking all the Rules” moments. There’s something very liberating about cutting your hair. Sometimes I glance in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself though. : ) I have to admit that it was sort of in rebellion of Mr. You-know-who. He never wanted me to cut my hair. I know, I know. I shouldn’t care what he thinks! But now that it’s summer, it’s time for something fresh to go along with my new attitude.

This is something I read from “Faith in the Valley” by Iyanla Vanzant:

“Nothing in life happens passively. We are completely responsible for every experience we have, because we determine how we will respond. . . .Always remember, no what is going on in your life, it is your responsibility to choose how you respond. This does not mean you will not hurt. This does not translate to you should ignore what you feel. Not being a victim and taking responsibility means: feel the pain, honor the shock, look for the leason, and keep on moving in a way that honors who you really are.”

A lot of times, we get caught up in feeling like the victim. We want to blame everyone else for our problems. But as Iyanla stated, we alone are responsible for the things that happen to us. If someone mistreats us, it’s likely because we failed to set up proper boundaries or we were afraid to confront the person. Well, now that we’ve grown and seen otherwise, it’s time to make better choices.

Peace and blessings

Optimistic June 30, 2008

This weekend went pretty well. I actually got out of the house. Went to Dave and Buster’s, spent day with girlfriend, went to a childhood friend’s jewlry party. Though it’s been hard, I feel like I’m getting back to my old self.

Here’s a little relationship nugget that I read last night:

As soon as there is any kind of deception, stop everything. If you are trying to help someone and he is lying to you in some way, there is no relationship. The whole thing is a farce, and you should not go any further in trying to help the person until you settle the issue of deception. There are no other issues at that point except that one. Trust is everything in a helping relationship, and when it is broken, it becomes the only issue to work on. Either fix that or end the relationship. Where there is deception there is no relationship.

From Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

I’m better, much better June 26, 2008

I like the words in that song by Marvin Sapp, “Never would have made it” . . .

Never would have made it, never could have made it, without you [God]
I would have lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me

And I can say
Never would have made it,
Never could have made it,
Without you

I would have lost it all,
But I now how I see how you were there for me and I can say
I’m stronger, I’m wiser, I’m better,
much better,

When I look back over all you brought me thru.
I can see that you were the one that I held on to

Click here for song.

Last nite was sort of rough but I see the sunshine today. I’m gonna be fine, I’m gonna be happy. I’ll will not let Mr. You-Know-Who steal my joy. I’m deciding to be happy, he’ll have no control over that any longer.