Tag Archives: blame

Taking responsibility for our lives

2 Jul

So, I cut my hair yesterday. I had one of those Angela Bassett in “Waiting to Exhale” or Gabrielle Union in “Breaking all the Rules” moments. There’s something very liberating about cutting your hair. Sometimes I glance in the mirror and I don’t recognize myself though. : ) I have to admit that it was sort of in rebellion of Mr. You-know-who. He never wanted me to cut my hair. I know, I know. I shouldn’t care what he thinks! But now that it’s summer, it’s time for something fresh to go along with my new attitude.

This is something I read from “Faith in the Valley” by Iyanla Vanzant:

“Nothing in life happens passively. We are completely responsible for every experience we have, because we determine how we will respond. . . .Always remember, no what is going on in your life, it is your responsibility to choose how you respond. This does not mean you will not hurt. This does not translate to you should ignore what you feel. Not being a victim and taking responsibility means: feel the pain, honor the shock, look for the leason, and keep on moving in a way that honors who you really are.”

A lot of times, we get caught up in feeling like the victim. We want to blame everyone else for our problems. But as Iyanla stated, we alone are responsible for the things that happen to us. If someone mistreats us, it’s likely because we failed to set up proper boundaries or we were afraid to confront the person. Well, now that we’ve grown and seen otherwise, it’s time to make better choices.

Peace and blessings


Why do I feel I’m to blame?

25 Jun

Dear You-know-who,

You’ve been making me feel that I’m to blame. And honestly I’ve been taking it. But no more, at least not today. I put in 110%. You put in, well, about 40%. How can you sit up there and not take any responsibility for your actions. You say I’m sarcastic. Yes, I am because I know that I should leave you alone. You’re not worth my time right now and I deserve better. . . so why do I still feel guilty?